Hi Cailtin,

Given the context & the information we have available, no, I really can’t empathize with the respondent who assumed your nameless benefactor rode on because he didn’t care. I don’t know her. I have no idea why her biases might lead her to make such a claim. Perhaps if I did, I’d have been more understanding. But absent that, anything is pure speculation.

Same for the claim that the teen might have been faking in order to set some kind of trap for you.

You say there’s a reason women develop suspicions about the intentions of me. Yes. Of course. I couldn’t agree more. But, let me ask, do you agree with the reader’s assertion? Based on what she knew, on what you wrote, was she correct to insist he was “oblivious”?

As I wrote in reply to Bjulia, after the LA Riots I was stuck working Downtown & in south LA. The only job I could get where I didn’t need my own gear (which had been stolen). I thought I was going to get killed, beaten or robbed. But I had no choice then. And the reality proved quite different. I remember Crips (well, they wore blue) hanging out in Dogtown Projects giving me detailed directions to various units. People were really cool to me. I think almost anyone would have understood my fear, but the reality proved quite different.

I wouldn’t, however, expect you, or anyone else, to bet her life & safety on the reality being quite different. You did the right, sensible thing. & it worked out. It’s good that you shared this because others (& not just women) might find it a useful tactic in the future.

It’s ironic we’re having this exchange, because I really found nothing in your essay with which to disagree.