I guess there's no point urging attention to the comments of other Europeans who point out that mocking Nazism & its appropriation of traditional German folksongs might explain your erstwhile friend's gesture. But, come on! She's a Hitler-loving Nazi symph & that single gesture was the only clue?

Why would such a person give you the time of day, much less invite a mixed-race couple to her weekend?

I've read many of your essays, found them moving & insightful. But you started to lose me with your account of the obnoxious airline passenger whose irritation at having to move or shift on your behalf could only be explained by racism. I tried to picture her (& I've flown enough to have encountered bad-sport seatmates like that myself) treating a white person with better manners .... & just couldn't.

Finally, the notion of in vino veritas is greatly, greatly overrated.