I think what you wrote has a great deal of merit. But is it the whole story?
I was my son’s primary caregiver during a period when my wife’s career transformed from being an office nurse to general manager of one of the SFV’s largest multi-physician medical practices. Along the way she earned her MBA, while my earning power went from having about the same amount of education & professional training to minimum wage if I was lucky.
Granted this was the result of some complicated circumstances coming together. I’ve written about them elsewhere, & will spare the details.
My point here is that while I received many compliments, mostly from women, at being so involved with my kid, I also felt a great deal of ambivalence. A solitary man out with a baby is still an object of suspicion for many — did he steal the child as it was left cooling on the windowsill somewhere?
Also, as others have pointed out, one must contend with society’s characterization of fathers as utterly incompetent to so much as tie off a onesie without mom’s guidance.
And there’s the issue of who’s really calling the shots … are moms really prepared, on a large scale, to let go & let dad? That was an issue my wife & I, normally in harmony on most subjects, could never quite agree. Suffice to say I often felt as though I was left to carry out mom’s marching orders, taking responsibility, while having relatively little say in the overall scene.
So, my question is, if women are tired of being compelled to assume the lion’s share of childrearing, are they also, at the same time, willing to relinquish the authority over how their children are raised?