Of course you're entitled to bring someone into your home for consensual sex. How could you know he was the sort who felt some sick need to degrade you & inflict pain? Suppose you had had consensual, protected anal sex, he'd have found something else awful to do.

I think the above is what's important. Congratulations on good work & solid accomplishments. Of course you feel like a fraud, given your mandate. But you're very much not. Isn't your reluctance more evidence of the barriers you were working to reduce?

I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad you were able to write about it.