Very interesting. I'm glad you recounted your experiences & observations. Although I have a great deal of sympathy for the Palestinians & their cause, I like to think if I were younger & in Israel I would also join the IDF. Because it's a due that ought to be paid.
Even from my distant remove, I agree, there are any clear black or white hats.
Recalling the rightist historiography of Israel's founding: Arabs leave homes with assurance that all Jews will be pushed into the ocean by tomorrow this time. True.
Leftist version: Arabs terrorized into fleeing by massacres & IDF (or proto-IDF) brutality, e.g. Deir Yassin. Also true.
The two-state solution seems like the only viable long-term course that might provide peace & stability, but it seems as though Israeli policy, while paying lip service to it, has also made it impossible to implement, at least on the West Bank.
It's really depressing to comtemplate.